what did you expect, a human?

1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
how-unreasonably-in-love-i-am
feministism

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drankinwatahmelin

4. If the car pulls up to you run in the opposite direction.

5. Walk with your keys in your hands and keep a key between each finger

6. If they put you in the trunk kick out the headlights

7. If you get lost find a woman with a child. Never ask a man for help (this one was drilled)

bando--grand-scamyon

That scream fire piece of advice is literally life saving

gaylittlepieceofsh1t

Yes this last one really saves lives y'all I do it all the time

uncleromeo

girls have to learn to view the world like international intelligence agents just to be safe walking down the street. smh.

twilightt-fantasy

guys pls pls pls reblog and girls pls pls pls be safe out there. terrifying and so sad that we have to worry about this on a daily basis

guiltyidealist

(I’m an enby, but, frankly, this is helpful for anyone.)

queerwitched

- always tell someone where youre at and an approx time when youll be back

witcheshaven

Add text replacement words in your phone if possible. Something short and memorable that you can send quickly to people in moments of emergencies.

E.g.

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im-actually-ok

I f ing hate that we need to reblog this, people suck, but this will save lives.

DO NOT SCROLL PAST

anonymousmothman

Being female fucking sucks but yes this shit is important for everyone

deadlymodern

Also, do not walk close to walls. It will be easier for someone so walk past you and push you against it or corner you.

If your gut is telling you to cross the street or change your path, do it. Don’t risk it. Your body knows.

If you can, buy a large umbrella and walk holding it. Studies say that predators are less likely to attempt an attack on someone that could fight back. Keys around your knuckles is fine but you’ll need to get very close to do damage. Umbrellas are more precise.

Avoid wearing headphones if you are alone on an empty street. Look aware.

Again: Stay. Away. From. Walls.

Entering an uber alone? Call your father (or anyone you trust) and say “hey dad! Yep, I’m almost there, I’m sending you the route.” outloud. Then proceed to send them the route so they can follow the uber drive. This will most likely intimidate the predator.

If you see someone in an uncomfortable or possibly dangerous situation, walk up to them and say “Betty, oh my god, I haven’t seen you in so long!”. If she gets slightly confused, you can whisper and let her know you’re trying to help and that she should follow along. Walk together to another station or away from where you are. The man will most likely not follow. I have done this one 2 times and can be very helpful.

If you are unsure she needs help, you can pass her a note saying something like “hey, I noticed this man beside you is making you uncomfortable. If you’d like help, fake a sneeze right now and I will come up to you and pretend we are friends.” This is a long note, but its an example. Be discrete. If she follows along, proceed with the previous tip. This is helpful when you’re in a crowded train and you notice harassment.

Help your sisters. Trust them. Trust yourself. Be safe.

goodgirl81

If you ever feel unsafe or need help, anyone is welcome to run upto me and ask me for help! I’ll go all mama bear and keep you safe!!!

v1b3ch3ckl0s3r

https://docs.google.com/document/d/166g6Vo8Fb9H3FIZF2H6faEBHtFQSf7nVn_QxcJ9NMi0/edit?usp=sharing

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I made this google doc covering 14 different self defense tips and tricks. it was made on January 15th, 2020 so it was before I decided I’d come back to tumblr jhjshdbjfh.

ghostspaceships

8. Watch your shadows and reflections, especially if someone is walking behind you. A split second notice is better than none and will help you.

lukewarmsodaa

this is so fcking important

quillsink

AFAB nonbinary here, y’all please reblog, I’ve had this drilled into me as a kid and this will definitely help someone

daydreaming-cheese-weasel

also:

i was always told that the elbow is the sharpest point in your body, so use your elbows!!

to quote dwight schrute: “the eyes are the groin of the head”

im pretty sure that the nose is really sensitive so try to hit that. in a self defense class, they said to hold your hand like you’re carrying a plate (flat, palm up) and push upwards, bringing the bottom of your palm at the nose.

it doesn’t matter their gender, getting hit in the groin will always hurt like fuck.

simpingforwillsolace

if someone holds you from behind, shove yoir elbow in their gut and then punch them i the nose when they relase you

NEVER tuck in your thumb if you’re making a fist. that way if you punch someone you’ll break your thumb. make a fist like this and punch with the part marked red.

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you can knock someone out by punching them into the chin. the nose is also very sensitive and can be easily broken.

as someone said above, STAY AWAY FROM WALLS!

the knee and the elbow are the strongest parts of the body. and they are nicely angled for kicking somebody.

STAY SAFE EVERYONE, AND SHARE THIS!

bookdragonfanish

And if you’re going to a new place like say university… ALWAYS WALK WITH A MALE FRIEND AT NIGHT ALWAYS WALK WITH A MALE FRIEND AT NIGHT!!! This has literally saved some of my friends lives as they’ve gone to university and I expect to be the same in a few months!

MALE FRIEND BOYFRIEND ALWAYS WALK WITH A MALE YOU TRUST!!!

Pinned Post
what-is-the-irony-of-grass

How To Draw A Horse - a comic by Emma Hunsinger

its-a-gold-song

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ppl have been tagging me as the artist, and i dont want to take credit for someone else’s work!! emma hunsinger is an illustrator who does a lot of the New Yorker cartoons and made this comic (which was featured in the new yorker) glad to have bring some ~emotions~ to you all though :))

yallgottastopstealingmyblognames

@what-is-the-irony-of-grass

lesbiansadboy
duchesscloverly

The funniest sword fight scene in the history of cinema. 

seanfmcguire

BEST. SWORD FIGHT. EVER.

musicalhell

Let’s be honest, this is how I would sword fight.

rozunderpressure

@warmageragnar Lewis Vs Otranto, a realistic version.

redscullyrevival

#what on earth is this?

The Court Jester starring Danny Kaye, Basil Rathbone, and the amazing Glynis Johns, and Angela Lansbury and it is all around a fun time.

spotweld

All kidding aside, watch Basil Rathbone’s foot work. He knows fencing, and sets up the form even though he’s still playing up the stage blows for Danny Kaye to flail at for comedic effect.

theimpossiblescheme

Okay, but I need to talk about this because it’s even funnier if you know the context... Basil Rathbone was one of the greatest swordsmen in Hollywood history.  Which is why he almost never won any of his onscreen fights–he was good enough that he knew how to effectively make the other guy look even better.  That’s why the swordfight in The Adventures of Robin Hood looks so awesome even though Errol Flynn is nowhere near Rathbone’s level.

But this fight, right here?  Was one of the only fights where he needed a stunt double.  Because while he was able to keep Danny Kaye from being seriously injured, Rathbone himself nearly got skewered a few times by Kaye’s flailing around.  So in a bizarre way, this is probably the closest to an even match Rathbone had in his career… just not for the reasons you’d expect.

hamelin-born

“Don’t you know, there are some things that can beat smartness and foresight? Awkwardness and stupidity can. The best swordsman in the world doesn’t need to fear the second best swordsman in the world; no, the person for him to be afraid of is some ignorant antagonist who has never had a sword in his hand before; he doesn’t do the thing he ought to.”

-Mark Twain, A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court (1889)

The origin of a saying I’ve seen quoted in various works of fiction - “The best swordsman does not fear the second best, he fears the worst since there’s no telling what that idiot is going to do.”

poppywine
clown-of-rivia

Fun Fact and History Lesson!


The 'no beta we die like [character]' originated from this damn photo that went viral on Tumblr in 2016 and changed Ao3 tags and fanfic vernacular forever.

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Meaning: it's a tag used on fics that were not beta read (the author didn't get someone to read it for them before posting). Betas read fics to check for spelling, grammar, consistently, etc and often edit it.

*

Similarly, 'Dead dove' or 'dead dove do not eat' is from this scene in Arrested Development.

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Meaning: if there's a warning of something really dark/bad, don't open/read it and expect something different. Or: 'mind the tags this is dark, don't read if you don't like it'.

ospreyonthemoon

"Dead dove" also functions as a warning of imminence of those topics.

For instance, if a fic is tagged "cannibalism" it could just mean like. Cannibalism is talked about. Or like offhandedly mentioned.

If it is tagged "cannibalism" and then "dead dove do not eat" THAT means that IN THAT FIC, YOU WILL SEE CHARACTERS FRONT AND CENTER DOING CANNIBALISM. It means whatever the topics are, they will be ACTIVELY HAPPENING in that fic.

It's like saying "no, seriously, though" and double underlining the tag in red ink. It WILL happen and it WILL be a main feature so you should be aware of that.